Martin glances back, pleased to see Blue's here as well, Christ he really ought to catch her up on a few things—and turns back with another smile as Michael mentions his plans for the evening.
And then he brings up last night's conversation, a bit obliquely, but it's enough to make Martin falter a bit.
"That's good," he says, and looks down at his drink. Of all things he doesn't want to feel jealous, Christ, but it's a bit difficult. He is happy for Michael, of course. It is good to have that certainty about someone, to have it reciprocated, to feel it strongly enough to act on it in a place like this. He wonders how long it took. He's not even sure how long Michael's been here, doesn't remember if that came up on their first meeting or not. It is tempting, the idea of finding someone here, as much as it is dangerous. This is not his life; it's some state of in-between, something he's constantly aware he might lose at any moment. But god, if it works for other people...
The idea of getting over John makes his stomach turn, and he pushes it back at once. It's not as if he's been able to pull it off before. Years of disdain, paranoia, and unattainability couldn't do it, six months of an unliving coma couldn't do it, so it's laughable to think he could simply exert his own will on it now.
He retreats into the quick distraction of realizing he's just made a complete assumption about Michael and Alex's history. He'd been given to understand it was a bit rare to have someone from home join you but that certainly doesn't mean he and John and Daisy are the only ones.
"Did he erm... did you meet him here, or do you come from the same place?" he asks, looking up.
no subject
And then he brings up last night's conversation, a bit obliquely, but it's enough to make Martin falter a bit.
"That's good," he says, and looks down at his drink. Of all things he doesn't want to feel jealous, Christ, but it's a bit difficult. He is happy for Michael, of course. It is good to have that certainty about someone, to have it reciprocated, to feel it strongly enough to act on it in a place like this. He wonders how long it took. He's not even sure how long Michael's been here, doesn't remember if that came up on their first meeting or not. It is tempting, the idea of finding someone here, as much as it is dangerous. This is not his life; it's some state of in-between, something he's constantly aware he might lose at any moment. But god, if it works for other people...
The idea of getting over John makes his stomach turn, and he pushes it back at once. It's not as if he's been able to pull it off before. Years of disdain, paranoia, and unattainability couldn't do it, six months of an unliving coma couldn't do it, so it's laughable to think he could simply exert his own will on it now.
He retreats into the quick distraction of realizing he's just made a complete assumption about Michael and Alex's history. He'd been given to understand it was a bit rare to have someone from home join you but that certainly doesn't mean he and John and Daisy are the only ones.
"Did he erm... did you meet him here, or do you come from the same place?" he asks, looking up.