He wasn't expecting to have to get so personal, and for all that he's put his youth behind him, Eliot still feels a sting thinking about it in this context. He could have approached the problem so many other ways, but looking back it's hard not to imagine that he'd have succumbed to despair or violence if he hadn't gotten away when he did.

It seems he's startled Martin with the admission, but at this point they're friends. Martin's not just a placeholder until he gets back home. He deserves to know, rough as it might be for both of them.

When Martin stammers out a response Eliot nods, feeling his own eyes start to well up in sympathetic response. "I get it," he says, "it's not easy to hear." He lets go Martin's hand and looks about the room, trying to think of a way to steer the conversation away from being so very dire. "Sorry, I know this isn't the most exciting way to spend a Friday night...what do you think about just pizza? Should be fairly quick and we can get into the specifics of this whole...interpersonal issue you're having. If you want. The least I can do after dredging this all up, really."

He offers Martin a smile, projecting confidence. It's easier with a specific goal in mind, to feel like they can really figure this out.